Give yourself permission to put yourself first

We live in a world that often celebrates selflessness, hustle, and relentless productivity. “Put others first,” “Be a team player,” “Don’t be selfish”—these phrases are ingrained into our consciousness from a young age. While kindness and generosity are beautiful qualities, many of us take them to the extreme, pouring endlessly from our own cup until we’re left empty. But what if, just for a moment, you gave yourself permission to put yourself first?

The Myth of Selfishness

Let’s dismantle a myth: putting yourself first is not selfish. In fact, it’s the opposite. When you prioritize your wellbeing—your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health—you are better equipped to be there for others. You can’t give what you don’t have. Love, patience, compassion—they all come more freely when you're not running on fumes.

Think of yourself like a battery. Every demand you meet, every expectation you fulfill, every person you care for—drains your charge a little. If you never plug in, eventually you shut down. Giving yourself permission to recharge isn’t indulgent. It’s necessary.

Why It’s So Hard

If prioritising ourselves is so essential, why is it so difficult?

The answer is often tangled in guilt, conditioning, and fear. Many of us grew up believing our worth was tied to how much we could do for others. Some fear being judged or misunderstood if they set boundaries. Others feel guilt for taking a break, for saying no, or for simply wanting more for themselves.

But here's a truth to sit with: you are allowed to be a priority in your own life.

What It Looks Like to Put Yourself First

Putting yourself first doesn’t mean ignoring others. It means considering your own needs as valid and essential.

It might look like:

• Saying no to a social event when you need rest.

• Leaving a job that’s draining your soul.

• Speaking up when your boundaries are crossed.

• Taking a weekend to be alone and recharge.

• Investing in your health, therapy, or dreams.

It’s small things too—eating when you're hungry, taking a walk when you're stressed, or choosing silence when the world feels too loud.

Putting yourself first is a practice. It requires listening to your inner voice, trusting your intuition, and choosing yourself over and over, even when it feels uncomfortable.

The Ripple Effect

Here’s the beautiful irony: when you put yourself first, everyone benefits.

A rested parent is more patient. A fulfilled partner is more loving. A nourished friend is more supportive. When your cup is full, it overflows naturally.

Putting yourself first teaches others how to treat you—and often, how to treat themselves. You model self-respect, balance, and courage. You show that boundaries are not barriers, but bridges to more authentic connection.

Making the Shift

So, how do you begin?

1. Check in with yourself daily. Ask, What do I need right now? and honor the answer.

2. Say no more often. It’s a complete sentence. No explanation required.

3. Set boundaries with love. They protect your energy, not your ego.

4. Schedule time for yourself. Put “Me Time” on your calendar and guard it like a meeting.

5. Celebrate your needs. They’re not inconveniences—they’re guideposts.

Start small. Be gentle. You’re undoing years of conditioning, and that takes time.

You Are Worthy Now

You don’t need to earn rest. You don’t need to prove your worth. You are already enough, exactly as you are, and you deserve a life that feels nourishing, not just manageable.

When you put yourself first, you give yourself the gift of presence. You reclaim your joy, your peace, your passions. And in doing so, you make space for the most important relationship of all—the one with yourself.

So take a breath. Take up space. Take the time you need.

Give yourself permission to put yourself first.

You are worth it.

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